Yesterday was a bad day. The day itself wasn't bad, but my choices were. Sometime in the morning I decided that instead of eating the lunch I had packed for myself, I would go to Chipotle. Bad decision #1. After having Chipotle, I came home from work and had several hours of time to myself that were available to workout. I chose not to. Bad decision #2. Then, I made a dinner of a brown sugar burger and fresh cut fries. I chose this dinner even though I knew that it would take me over my daily calorie allowance. Bad decision #3. After this, I was still hungry, so I decided to make chocolate chip cookies. Bad decision #4. After eating probably a dozen cookies, Randy came home and opened a bag of Doritos. I helped myself to a plate of Doritos, covered them in shredded cheese, melted the cheese, and ate the entire plate of Doritos covered in cheese. Bad decision #5.
I don't know what my problem was, but I was hungry. Well, I take that back. I wasn't hungry at all. I wasn't full, but I cannot honestly say that I was hungry. I was craving so many different foods and none of them were good for me. I gave in to my cravings though without any thought. The problem was, the entire time, I knew that I was sabotaging myself. I consciously thought about how my weight loss was going to be affected by the decisions I was making, but I still chose to make them. Being overweight is not an overnight fix. I can easily say that I'm going to make a commitment to become healthier and make better decisions, but two days later, I'm eating whatever I can get my hands on. This is a lifelong battle. I'm going to make bad decisions at times, but I can't let them get me down. Today is a brand new day and today will be different.
I keep thinking about my long term goal. I want to look amazing in a gorgeous wedding dress. I want to look back at my pictures and remember how happy I was, not how fat and uncomfortable I felt. Every single day, Randy tells me how beautiful I'm going to be when we get married and how excited he is to see me in my wedding dress because I'll be the most beautiful bride he's ever seen. I want to prove him right.
He says that to you? That is so insanely sweet. He loves you so much..
ReplyDeleteSarah, one thing that REALLY helped me was making signs and hanging them all over my kitchen as I was trying to lose weight for my wedding. I drew picture of Hawaii with little phrases like "You can do this! Think of Hawaii" and "Ask yourself why you are eating! Do you have the calories for this?" etc.
And I wrote on my wrist every day how many more days I had until my wedding. It served as a constant reminded to NOT allow myself to screw up.
The couple months before my wedding (when I got really serious about it), these notes and reminders totally helped me. I wonder if you can do something similar?