My clothes don't fit me. I feel tired and sluggish all the time. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I am one pound away from the most I've ever weighed. I've hurt my back twice in a month and a half. I've had chest pains that made me wonder if I was having a heart attack.
This is it. I've hit rock bottom. I've continually posted on here about how I have this new plan or that new idea that is going to keep me motivated and is going to be the key to my weight loss. It all sounds wonderful in theory, but there's one small problem: it isn't working.
Yesterday, I realized that I have only one pair of jeans that fits. I have two piles of jeans in my closet, but most of them won't even come up my waist, and the ones that do, are nowhere near buttoning. Yesterday afternoon, I went to a favorite store of mine, Maurice's. Two years ago, I was comfortable in a size 18 jeans/skirts/capris at the store. Yesterday, I couldn't button some of the size 24 jeans and capris that I tried on. It was one of the lowest points I've had in quite some time. How did I let myself get to this point again? I was happy. I was becoming healthier. What happened?
I don't have an answer. I don't know where I went wrong. I've had so many good ideas. I've had so many fail-proof plans. I've had so many day ones. Every Monday, I commit to starting my life change. By Monday mid-morning, I've had donuts or a handful of candy, and I'm getting ready to go to Chipotle for lunch. I cannot continue on this path. I cannot live my life this way.
I am so sad reading this...I know how sad you must be and painful it is when something like that happens (at Maurice's). I KNOW you'll be a beautiful skinny bride. I know you can do it. I always believe in you so much. I really, really think you can do this.
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