New Week

So, my objectives for the week were:

1. Spend at least 1 hour exercising.
2. Do not intentionally go over my calories.
3. Drink at least 8 cups of water each day.

I want able to squeak by with completing the first objective by getting a lot of work done at home this morning. I raked up all the dog poop in my back yard and I cleaned out the garage. Number 2 was a little trickier, as I definitely was over on my calories every day. Last night, we went to a work party for Randy and I drank my daily allowance in Amaretto Sours and completed my evening with a TON of crappy food that I didn't need to eat. I also was able to drink at least 8 cups of water each day this week!

I weighed in this morning and am happy to report that I've lost 4 pounds! It's four pounds that I've lost, gained, re-lost, regained, lost again, and so on, but, it's gone again. This time, I plan to never see it again. 

This week's objectives:

1. Stay under my calorie goal at least 3 days
2. Exercise at least 90 minutes total
3. Lose at least 3 pounds

I will be doing these objectives from Sunday until Saturday, and I'll keep you updated on how I do! 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Objectives

Yesterday, I spent my day in a work training. This was both good and bad. I had gone into the day with a plan. I had breakfast before I left and I packed a healthy lunch and some snacks. The problem was, I was with four coworkers. I ended up succumbing to the group (without ANY resistance), tossed my lunch aside, and walked to a nearby mall food court for a slice of pizza and a to-go slice of cheesecake for an afternoon pick-me-up during the training. It was a poor decision and I knew it. I was fully aware the entire time that I shouldn't be eating the pizza and should be drinking my protein shake instead. This was the bad part of training.

The good part of training was that we learned about having a goal and how to reach it. The training was obviously geared toward our jobs and projects that we tackle in that setting, but I couldn't help by apply it toward my weight loss goal. Basically, it was information that I already knew and have already posted about, but hearing it again struck something in me.

A long term goal is something that you wish to achieve: Becoming thinner and healthier. In order to achieve that goal, you must set and meet short-term objectives along the way: Lose 2 lbs this week and work out for 30 minutes total. As you keep completing each of these short-term objectives, you become closer to meeting your long-term goal. I know that in the past I've posted short-term objectives, but I'm going to make it a point to post a new objective each Saturday to be completed by the following Saturday. As this week is already more than halfway over, I'm going to make this week's objective something simple, as it must be achieved in only 3 days. I should note that I restarted my weight loss journey on Monday. Since Monday, I've been well over my calorie allowance each day and have not worked out (this is in part due to a sciatic nerve issue I'm having and also in part due to my using that as an excuse).

This week's objectives:

1. Spend at least 1 hour exercising.
2. Do not intentionally go over my calories.
3. Drink at least 8 cups of water each day.

Easy enough, right? I'll let you know on Saturday!

Rock Bottom

My clothes don't fit me. I feel tired and sluggish all the time. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I am one pound away from the most I've ever weighed. I've hurt my back twice in a month and a half. I've had chest pains that made me wonder if I was having a heart attack.

This is it. I've hit rock bottom. I've continually posted on here about how I have this new plan or that new idea that is going to keep me motivated and is going to be the key to my weight loss. It all sounds wonderful in theory, but there's one small problem: it isn't working. 

Yesterday, I realized that I have only one pair of jeans that fits. I have two piles of jeans in my closet, but most of them won't even come up my waist, and the ones that do, are nowhere near buttoning. Yesterday afternoon, I went to a favorite store of mine, Maurice's. Two years ago, I was comfortable in a size 18 jeans/skirts/capris at the store. Yesterday, I couldn't button some of the size 24 jeans and capris that I tried on. It was one of the lowest points I've had in quite some time. How did I let myself get to this point again? I was happy. I was becoming healthier. What happened?

I don't have an answer. I don't know where I went wrong. I've had so many good ideas. I've had so many fail-proof plans. I've had so many day ones. Every Monday, I commit to starting my life change. By Monday  mid-morning, I've had donuts or a handful of candy, and I'm getting ready to go to Chipotle for lunch. I cannot continue on this path. I cannot live my life this way.

I booked the hall for my wedding this past weekend. I'm getting married on June 22, 2013. Do I want to be squeezing into a size 24 dress, or do I want to be comfortably wearing a size 16 (or smaller) dress when I saw my vows? The answer is obvious. The harder question is, how do I get there?

Challenges

Today is the day I've been both dreading and looking forward to for weeks: my Girl Scout cookies came in! As I sit at my desk, I look at the pile of boxes in the corner, begging for me to dig in and eat them. They only come around once a year, and the peanut butter ones have me hooked.

Tonight presents another challenge. I'm attending my first Cavs game with my best friend. I'm super excited about it and hope to have a good time. I was concerned about the food choices, as at a sporting event you can't exactly find healthy options. I planned my day out on MFP this morning though and I'll be able to indulge in a soft pretzel with cheese AND a hot dog, while remaining within my calorie allowance for the day. 

Throughout life there will always be challenges. It's up to you to make a plan, stick with it, and win.

Still Alive

I haven't died. I'm still here. I just haven't been very committed to losing weight, getting healthy, or writing in my blog. As I've expressed in the past, it's really hard for me to stay on track. I'm constantly looking for a quick fix or something to keep me insanely motivated. Those things are hard for my to find, however, and I lose interest. I should be interested in the long term, in the final product. Instead, I'm interested in what will make me happy RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, I've recently made many unhealthy choices in order to make myself "happy" in that moment. The end result, however, has not left me happy at all.

On Friday, a group of friends and I made a commitment to one another. We all met at one person's house and discussed our struggles with food. We all weighed in, took measurements, and stood together and individually for "before" pictures. These are all friends who have struggled with their weight throughout their lives. We all are on the same journey, we all have the same plan. We all want to be healthier. Each of us set mini-goals for the week. My goals for the week are:

• Track EVERYTHING, no matter what.
• Spend at least twenty minutes, three times per week, exercising.

Those are small goals, but I'm taking a small step. We've all spent our lives chasing a quick-fix, but none of us has found one. This time, we're taking small steps in order to make this more of a lifestyle change, not the diet of the week. Plus, we all have stepped on a scale in front of our peers, our friends, and we have committed to doing so again in two weeks.  My biggest fear is other people learning how much I weigh. Only one of my best friends had ever been privy to that information, and this was because we have always been very similar in weight, always been on this journey together, failing. Now, they all know. They all saw. I can't hide this any longer.

Two weeks from now, I want to be proud of the work I've put in. I want everyone to be happy for me and smile at my accomplishment. I don't want to let anyone else, or myself down. Not again.